The population of this country is 237 million.

Applied Mathmatics:

104 million are retired.

That leaves 133 million to do the work.

There are 85 million in school,

which leave 48 million to do the work.

Of this there are 29 million employed by the federal government.

This leaves 19 million to do the work.

4 million are in the Armed Forces,

which leaves 15 million to do the work.

Take from the total the 14.8 million people who work for State and City Government and that leaves 200,000 to do the work.

There are 188,000 in hospitals,

so that leaves 12,000 to do the work.

Now, there are 11,998 people in Prisons.

That leaves Just two people to do the work.

You and me.

And you’re just sitting there reading jokes all day!

By: A guide for Clinical Laboratory Scientist On 12:17 PM

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What a touching story!!!

There was a mosquito and a dog who loved each other a lot.

One day the mosquito got excited and gave a love bite to the dog.

The dog became emotional and returned the love bite to the mosquito.

The next day…

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Mosquito died of rabies and dog died of malaria…

What a touching story!!!

By: A guide for Clinical Laboratory Scientist On 7:52 AM

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I want toilet paper

Banta comes to Australia and goes to Woolworths’s (Ubiquitious grocery store in Australia). He finds cat food at special prices. He picks a dozen cans of cat food and goes to check out.

The Manager gets suspicious. He thinks that this guy cannot have a cat and will probably feed cat food to his kids.

He asks Santa to show him his cat before he could let him have cat food. Banta goes home and returns with a cat and gets to buy the cat food.

Next week Banta finds dog food at special prices. He picks a dozen cans of dog food and goes to check out. The Manager again gets suspicious. He thinks that this guy has a cat but he cannot have a dog and he will probably feed dog-food to his kids.

He asks Santa to bring and show him the dog before he can let him have dog food. Banta goes home and returns with a dog. He gets to buy the dog food.

Next week Banta comes to Woolworth’s with a bag. He asks the manager to put his hand in the bag. The Manager puts his hand in the bag and immediately takes it out. He shouts at Banta: “What the….! This is shit you…!” and Banta calmly replies: “Yes, and I want toilet paper”.

By: A guide for Clinical Laboratory Scientist On 4:16 AM

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Mathmatical Joke:

A boy was teaching a girl arithmetic, he said, it was his mission.

He kissed her once; he kissed her twice and said, “Now that’s addition.”

In silent satisfaction, she sweetly gave the kisses back and said, “Now that’s subtraction.”

Then he kissed her, she kissed him, without an explanation.

And both together smiled and said, “That’s multiplication.”

Then her Dad appeared upon the scene and made a quick decision.

He kicked that boy three blocks away and said, “That’s long division!”

By: A guide for Clinical Laboratory Scientist On 12:41 AM

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Mathmatical Joke:

A boy was teaching a girl arithmetic, he said, it was his mission.

He kissed her once; he kissed her twice and said, “Now that’s addition.”

In silent satisfaction, she sweetly gave the kisses back and said, “Now that’s subtraction.”

Then he kissed her, she kissed him, without an explanation.

And both together smiled and said, “That’s multiplication.”

Then her Dad appeared upon the scene and made a quick decision.

He kicked that boy three blocks away and said, “That’s long division!”

By: A guide for Clinical Laboratory Scientist On 8:31 PM

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Sardar jokes

Sardar to his servant: Go and water the plants.

Servant: It's already raining.

Sardar: So what take an umbrella and go.

Sardar found the answer to the most difficult question ever -

What will come first, Chicken or egg?

O Yaar, what ever U order first, will come first.

A teacher told all students in a class to write an essay on a cricket match.. All were busy writing except one Sardarji.

He wrote "DUE TO RAIN, NO MATCH!"

Postman: - I Have To Come 5 Miles to Deliver U This Packet

Sardar: - why did U come so far. Instead U could Have posted it....

A Sardar & his wife filed an application for Divorce.

Judge asked: How'll U divide your kids, U"VE 3 children?

Sardar replied: Ok! We'll apply NEXT YEAR

Sardar's wish: when I die, I wana die like my Grandpa who died peacefully in his sleep not Screaming like all d passengers in d car he was Driving..

A Teacher lecturing on population:

"In Indi a after every 10 secs a women gives birth to a kid. "

A Sardar stands up- "We must find & stop her!. "

A man: "Sardarji, tell me, why Manmohan Singh goes for a walk in the evening not in the morning?"

Sardarji: ''Arey bhai Manmohan is PM not AM''.

Sardar visits Chinese friend dying in hospital.

The Chinese friend just says "CHIN YU YAN" and dies.

Sardarji goes to China to find the meaning of his friend's last Words.

And finds It means "U R STANDNG ON the OXYGEN TUBE!"

Sardarji was standing in front of the mirror with his eyes closed.

His wife asked what you are doing.

He said-I am seeing how I look while sleeping.

Why did Sardar cut the sides of the capsule before taking it?

Guess what...

To avoid side effects!!!

Man: Sardarji where were U born?

Sardarji: Punjab .

Man: Which part?

Sardar: Oye part part kya kar raha hai, whole body Is born in Punjab Yaar".

Lawyer to Sardar: "Gita pe haath rakhkar kaho ke....... "

Sardar :"Yeh kya, sita pe haath lagaya to court mein Bulaya. Ab fir gita pe haath!!"

A Sardar saw a beautiful girl... He went and kissed her....

Girl said- "What R U doing...?"

Sardar replied- " B.COM from Khalsa college, Chandigar"

Sardar: For the past one week a girl is disturbing Me.

I don't know how she got my no, she interrupts whenever I call someone and says "please recharge your card"

A person went into the office kitchen one morning and found a Sardarni painting the walls. She was wearing a new fur coat and a nice denim jacket. Thinking this was a little strange, he asked her why she was wearing them rather than old clothes or an overall.

She showed him the instructions on the tin, "For Best Results put on Two Coats"

A sardar was drawing money from ATM,

The sardar behind him in the line said, "Ha! Ha! Haaa! I've seen ur password. Its 4 asterisks (****). "

The first sardar replies, "Ha! Ha! Haaa! U R wrong, Its 1258"

Q:) How do U recognize a sardar in school or College???

A:) They are the ones who erase their notebooks when the teacher erases the blackboard.. . BOLO tarara!!

Q:) Why did the sardarji sleep with a scale?

A:) Because he wanted to measure how long he has Slept....... .

Santa Singh MBBS

After finishing his MBBS, Dr. Santa Singh starts his Own practice..

He checked his first patient's Eyes, then the tongue, and finally the Ears using a torch.

Finally he said Battery is Ok !!!

By: A guide for Clinical Laboratory Scientist On 10:47 PM

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Banta Singh's Letter to Bill Gates

Dear Mr. Bill Gates,

This letter is from Banta Singh from Punjab. We have bought a computer for our home and we found problems, which I want to bring to your notice.

1. After connecting to Internet we planned to open e-mail account and whenever we fill the form in Hotmail in the password column, only ****** appears, but in the rest of the fields whatever we typed appears, but we face this problem only in password field. We checked with hardware vendor Santa Singh and he said that there is no problem in keyboard. Because of this we open the e-mail account with password *****. I request you to check this as we ourselves do not know what the password is.

2. We are unable to enter anything after we click the 'shut down ' button.

3. There is a button 'start' but there is no "stop" button. We request you to check this.

4. We find there is 'Run' in the menu. One of my friend clicked 'run ' has ran upto Amritsar! So, we request you to change that to "sit", so that we can click that by sitting.

5. One doubt is that any 're-scooter' available in system? As I find only 're-cycle', but I own a scooter at my home.

6. There is 'Find' button but it is not working properly. My wife lost the door key and we tried a lot for tracing the key with this ' find', but unable to trace. Is it a bug??

7. Every night I am not sleeping as I have to protect my 'mouse' from CAT, So I suggest u to provide one DOG to kill that cat.

8. Please confirm when u are going to give me money for winning 'HEARTS' (playing cards in games) and when are u coming to my home to collect ur money.

9. My child learnt 'Microsoft word' now he wants to learn 'Microsoft sentence', so when u will provide that?

By: A guide for Clinical Laboratory Scientist On 6:09 PM

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